W called today to tell me that the mediator would be calling me and we looked for good dates for our first appointment. She also called me the other day talking about the mediator and it caught me off guard since we hadn't discussed the subject for 3-4 weeks. My heart started racing a bit and my voice quavered. Today I was much more calm.
I wonder sometimes why I feel calm about this process and assured and why other times I feel more fear and anxiety. Is it about me not having control of the D when she initiates action? Or still in denial to what is happening? Or is my body still resisting the D?
