Hi JDollie. I can totally understand the feeling you got when your W wrote back about the dissolution papers. I'm trying to not project forward as I often do - but I sometimes think of when we will tell the kids that we are separating and what their reaction is going to be. In that mix is the fear of taking another step toward D.
I can only hope that I will be emotionally ready to take those steps when they arise.
My W also has a fantasy about how things will be if we go through with the D. Just last weekend I took the kids to my sisters house. She has 2 D and my W is very fond of them. It was my younger neice's birhday and my W of course missed out on it.
The next day my W made a comment - "I have to find a way where I can see ----- and ------. I thought to myself, "I don't think that's going to happen. My sister is really pissed off at my W for what she is doing and I don't think she'll let either one of her D's to be around my W. So she has this fantasy and it doesn't really match reality.
There's a malfunction.
It's like my C told me last night. My W has to paint this rosey picture of the future because if she was projecting out reality it would throw a wrench into what she is doing. It helps them justify their decision. But it's only a false thinking that will crumble when reality hits.
MySitch Me-47 STBXW-41 D-5 S-8 ILYBNILWY-01/08 Want a D- 01/09 Physical Sep-01/10 D filed-06/10 Got 50% custody=09/11 Ride that wave!
