One more thought on the initiation topic. You might have to try different approaches/advances until you find what works in the beginning. It's tougher, I think, because you're trying to win her back. It can be a delicate and complicated artform. But, no pressure (haha). Really, don't let that scare you. My point is to tell you not to get discouraged if you try to be more aggressive and it doesn't work at first. She WANTS it, even if she reacts based on her issues.
Bagheera is much more eloquent about the topic, so please read his posts as much as possible.
And, please consider checking out an Alanon meeting. I don't want to amplify something unnecessarily, but her alcohol use is linked to something within her that is likely tied to your SSM.
Enjoy PM. I bought it new, and it is worth every penny. I know I'll keep referring to the book for the rest of my life.
