Stella, like all people here, I ve been reading and reading and reading about Rs affairs, MLC, separation, divorce etc etc...
One book I just got yesterday, said that men even when they return to their wives, ARE ALWAYS vulnerable to the OW. Even after they reconcile and live in a marital bliss, if the OW is available they cant get her out of their system. Its His Needs, Her needs, which Michelle even suggests. He says, contact must stop and he even suggests move to another state/city if possible... (!!!).
It seems what your H is going through is normal. I wish I could say it will not last long but I think it will...
Find courage to the fact that he made the decision. Try to be the stabile one and try to connect with him again. Dont use words to connect, use your attitude. And dont forget to take care of Stella.
