I really appreciate your response. I have mulled over whether to move out or not as I will still be required to pay the mortgage etc, while the house I have restored after a years hard graft will be lived in by my wife and two children. Unfortunately, the house does not hold any good memories for me and I feel a great weight on my shoulders when I walk in the door because of the situation. I feel bitter about this as I am the one who is 'jumping through hoops' trying not to upset the applecart in the hope that she may change her mind over a period of time, but not knowing if anybody else is involved is clouding the issue for me as well as her as I do not want to push her further away if I 'man up'.
I think I need to move out to get some clarity in my own head as well, though the down side to this could be the fact it gives her the opportunity to then engage in her possible EA/PA which I cannot prove, though if I could I would certainly have a harder mindset towards her and our situation.
'Unreasonable behaviour' is what is cited by 85% to 90% of petitioners when they really do not have 'reasons'. In my case she is citing: played golf too often, did not provide emotional support to her during our marriage, did nor spend enough time with the children. CIW, these are not 'reasons', they are excuses for the basic loss of closeness and compatabilty we once had and is very hurtful to me.
I thank you for your 'mr nice guy' tag as I am trying really hard to do the right thing, but all it is doing is making me look weak I feel, which in itself is not a trait my wife would find attractive. That is the paradox - do I 'man up' to show I can be strong, manly etc or do I go along with the 'validation' part of DR'ing. Confused.
Thank you for the book suggestion and the advice.
By the way, how is your situation?
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
