My name is Mark and I am coming to you all from England. I unfortunately have a WAW who dropped the bomb the week before last christmas 08. This site has been an incredible help to me and I would just like to thank you all for the support and the energy to continue the fight to get my wife back.
My sitch saw my wife declare the same old "loved me but was not IN love with me" speech, "living with a relative" etc etc. I have begged, pleaded, cried til there is no tomorrow, did not get out of bed on one day as I was so depressed. My wife uttered "I have so made the right decision". I have snooped on her phone, her wardrobe and underwear drawers, she knows all this which has helped to push her further away. I have not found any proof of her seeing somebody else, but I feel she may be involved in an EA with a 'special friend' that may appear when I am out of the picture. She refuses any counselling as she has said over the years I have not supported her emotionally and it is too late. I have validated her 'reasons', tried to keep a calm temprement, though she thinks I am patronising her because I will not engage in any arguments and am keeping calm, which for me is a complete 180. I have done the changes around the house, more helpful, spending more time with the children, though I must admit she has not uttered a word until yesterday when she thanked me for doing the ironing. We have no physical contact and I sleep in my son's room, she has lost over 32 pounds in weight and is buying new clothes, which she says is because she cannot get into anything she currently owns.
I am still living in the house but I am moving out in 3 weeks as the atmosphere there, especially with the children hearing and seeing us arguing is not good for them. I have read Michelle's DR which has been really helpful, and am considering 'going dark' when I move, but because of the children and because some of the reasons she says was lack of emotional support and closeness I feel it may be 'more of the same', I am very confused. I am GAL, gym, seeing friends etc, also as my wife has petiontioned for divorce on grounds of 'unreasonable behaviour' I feel I am losing if she has not gone already. She seems to want ot get the divorce, the finances etc resolved as quickly as possible. I suspect it is because of someone else, but as I have said I have not found any proof of this, or is she trying to get this resolved as quickly as possible so that she will not look bad in front of her family and friends and it is a 'natural' meeting with someone new after our divorce.
I desperately want our marriage to be re-paired but she does not text me anymore during the day, and when I am at home we have minimal dialogue and if it is I try and keep it light, but she seems to want to talk about finances and "what date am I leaving?" I have not had any support from my family which I have chosen because they were part of the problem, my in-laws have not said anything as they do not want to gat involved. I have vented to mutual friends which has back-fired on me as they have gone back and told my wife what I said. If she is seeing someone in an EA which I feel would become a PA I cannot do anything about it, but I feel I must try and keep the moreal high ground and continue with my changes for me and the children, and hope she sees some kind of light (please god)
I truly feel isolated, alone, depressed and without seeing any light at the end of the tunnel. I also lose my job at the end of this month which is even more stress as I need to continue paying the mortgage, bills etc.
Please, please help me to gain some clarity and direction.
Love to you all,
Mark
Bomb dropped: 19/12/08 Me:48 WAW:41 D:10 S:6 Married: 15 years
