5. Don't waste your time and energy on the other woman.

One of the worst things you can do is become obsessed with the other woman. It's natural for you to be curious about her, but she's not worth your time and energy. Repeatedly questioning your husband about her, referring to her or dragging her name into the conversation puts the spotlight on her instead of on the real issues where it belongs. Don't obsess over the details of what happened between the two of them. Concentrate on working things out between the two of you. Do not humiliate or frustrate yourself by calling or confronting the other woman and demanding that she leave your husband alone. She's not obligated to take orders from you. Harassing her or threatening her will put you on the wrong side of the law. Name-calling, criticizing or belittling her will only make your husband come to her defense. You'll be driving them closer together instead of forcing them apart Forget about the other woman and focus your energy and efforts on getting your marriage back on track.

Will you end up sabotaging your marriage or saving it? The final outcome depends on the way you handle things when you first discover your husband's affair. In the initial stages, you may be unsure exactly what you're going to do. But at least you know what NOT to do. Whether you stay with you


H 36 2nd marriage
me 32 1st marriage
no kids