What's next???? The adventure continues!!!

[AFWAW]

Thanks guys, but it's going downhill now. My daughter is starting to realize what's going on now. She starts asking all these questions about why mommy left. I told her that I didn't show mommy the love and affection that she deserved and mommy wasn't willing to forgive me for way she feels I treated her and my SS in the past. She said that's retarded. I said that may be but that's the way she feels. She said I want to call her. I said ok, call away. Next thing I know, the wife wants to talk to me. She starts by cussing at me and asks why I'm putting her daughter to this. I said I haven't put her up to anything and told her that D13 wanted to call as she was starting to feel bad about the situation. She said do you really want me to tell her why? I said, hell, I'd like you to tell me why first. She said you have been cruel to me and SS19 for years. I should have left you 8 years ago. She referred to incidents that happened over the years that were very isolated and involved no hitting or abuse or anything like that. I said, I could argue that you were cruel as well. She said that's true. I said the main difference is that I have forgiven you and you choose not to forgive me. She said, and I never will! She said is that what you want to tell D13? I said, that's up to you. She said that's not fair to her. I said neither is her mother leaving her. She cussed at me and said let me speak to my daughter. I said there is no reason to cuss and if you want to speak to her you can ask as you told me you wanted to be civil. She said you're right, could I please speak to D13? Ok, no problem. I said and one more thing, when you asked if I was ok earlier, I want you to know I am but I am not ok with you doing this. She said I don't really care and I won't bother you again, I'll call directly to D13. I said you're not bothering me, I just wanted to clarify for you in case you were wondering. Oh, she was so angry.

So, I go take the phone to D13 and she has locked her self in her room. So I had to ask her to open up while I've got the wife listening on the phone. She finally opens up and I say mommy wants to talk to you and turn around and go back to the other room.

2 minutes later D13 comes out crying and hands me the phone. I said what now? She doesn't want to talk but I follow her to her room and coax her into telling me. She asked the wife again why are you doing this? Wife says she didn't get the love and attention she needed and didn't want to be married to daddy anymore. She said she didn't want to go into the rest as D13 didn't need to know. So, I told her what the wife had said to me. That I was cruel(which I don't know how, I mean come on almost every couple has arguements and she was just as cruel to me if thats what you wanna call it). I told her that mommy has decided that she doesn't want to forgive me for these things and therefore doesn't want to be married to me. She said but why won't she forgive you? I said I don't know, I have asked her to and love her very much but that is her choice and I can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. She said but she left me too. I said I know, I don't understand either. We talked for a little more and I told her that I would take care of her. She said that her mom wanted to take her to a movie tomorrow night but she didn't want to go and that she hated her mom right now. I said you don't hate her, you're just upset. I said if you don't want to go then tell her that. Long conversation and I am very upset now, not only for me but for my daughter and for my failed marriage

Am I insane or is there not an article on this board here that talks about forgiveness and how it can set you free and how you can be a better person, etc, etc. I know I have made mistakes in the past and have owned them and asked for forgiveness.

Bottom line, I don't know how to make the wife forgive me and fear that she never will regardless of how I act now or in the future. What a way to end the day...