I don't know what to tell you other than to say you need to figure out how you can stay in this mode. It's not that you can't have a slip-up, or two, or even three. But you can't have TEN, not if you want to bust the affair and DB your marriage. You are in the critical period where -- having stood up to him -- he's going to test you to see if it "sticks." And he DESPERATELY is going to want to "normalize" the affair as much as possible, and make sure YOU are okay with the way he is now.
You have to simultaneously convey a sense of "I'M okay, but I'm not at ALL okay with what you're doing!"
