Next time she brings up the custody issue, ask her, "what do you think is the most fair agreement to me and you that would give our boys the quality of life they deserve?" Throw the question back at her so that she has to do the thinking and is not going to bait you into an argument.
If you had said something of what you think the terms should be, she would have argued about it no matter what you said. The thing is to get her questioning herself. Get her thinking, really thinking about the consequences.
In the meantime, you should have what you feel is a fair custody in your head in case she really presses you for it. But only tell her after she has told you what she thinks first.
Do it without emotion, just very matter-of-factly. Before you do, remind her again that you still believe in the M and that in order to give your kids the rich, nurturing family they deserve, you believe in re-newing the marriage. That is what you want and what you believe. Tell her that, you love her enough that if it is her wish to leave, then you cannot hold her back. Then state your demands. If she tries to interrupt, then gently stop her and say that you'd like to finish.
All this should be said very calmly as if it were strictly business.
In the past you had broken down and pleaded, but now you say it with an even keel she might get thrown for a loop.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
