My goodness K, I have been trying to figure out how to post to you for the last 2 days and can't get my head wrapped around what I am wanting to say. So I shall just wing it a bit and we can figure it out from there.......
I have always been a person who believes that there are many ways to heal yourself from the situation that brings you to this place. While I understand that the objective and goal is to salvage every marriage I cannot help but to point out sometimes that not every person gets the healing and personal growth from the same results.
I consider myself a success.... I consider FIB a success... I consider Lissie a success, and the list could go on forever here.... the common thread, none of us saved our marriages. We instead saved ourselves. The fact of the matter is when marriages come to the point that brings us here, we get the opportunity to explore ourselves as well as our partners. We have the amazing opportunity to discover what path we should take to find true happiness.
When the conclusion comes clear that our marriages are over and we must move on it is sad. It is sad because our ideals, our morals, our convictions, and our commitment suddenly come into question within ourselves. For some of us it actually delays the inevitable and we wait to accept/move forward because in a strange way it is basically us having to face what we deem as a failure on our parts.
I myself knew, in my heart and soul, that I was done with my marriage and it was over in July of last year. I did not take the actual steps to progress the divorce for several months after. While our situations are every different, I believe that our delaying of the inevitable is the same.
What we want to happen, and what is meant to happen can be very different things sweetie. In order for our vision of marriage to work we must have a partner who believes in the same things that we do when it comes to commitment and true devotion to a marriage. I believe that the reality of what your H brings to the table does not meet what you want in your marriage right now and I also believe you have know that for some time now.
I give you huge kudos for continuing the battle even when you could see that the odds were not good. You have absolutely nothing to hang your head for and I know that in time the pain will subside and you will be the great and wonderful woman that I have come to know with an amazing future laid out before you.
I hope that my ramblings make sense to you.... catch me sometime on the other world and we can chat.....
