It seems to be working.... sometimes #2

[sandycay]

Ouch should have brought my helmet for the 2x4's. Mike's Via SMW hurts.... but truthful and I know you said it with love. i do want to clarify that I don't mope about and act unhappy around my H. I really only talk about my concerns on here.

I understand that most people would give their arm to be where I am because I have been there too. I will say that it is unrealistic to not expect someone to be able to express what they are not getting or feeling from their spouse because they are "afraid" if they dont' always "act" perfect and happy they are going to bolt. You won't understand that till your in that situation..... a lot of that is self imposed but I can guarantee you that feeling second best is a hard pill to swallow.

I am blessed that he does feel the duty to be here and by appearances is here but it doesn't stop the fact that his heart is not.

Here's the question everyone has to answer for themselves... how long can you do that and be fair to yourself. I have made so many changes in the last year that were postive that I can now see why I may have gotten unhappy in my marriage and thus made him unhappy. My "need" to be verbally validated are answered with "I am doing to best I can".

We have done MC and it was successful at the time and he feels that it would be a waste of time now because there's nothing really wrong. He's here and doing the right thing... he says he's happy. I guess he forgets that it's not okay to be in love with another woman while your married whether or not you still see her.