First off the latest news: W responded to my "ultimatum" email (see end of thread 5) simply by saying, "I almost have dissolution papers ready."
I thought to myself - completely ignore the man that has given his life for you, completely ignore the fact that your kids want you to be with their dad, completely ignore life, and simply talk about what YOU want.
Sigh, I should know better by now, but it's still pathetic.
It's frustrating too because I'm starting to see glimpses of the real W - not this sad facade she has pulled over herself. I think it's getting harder and harder to justify this silly world she's enveloping herself in. Poor girl.
So, I emailed her back, and said that I would give her a week. I also said that I wanted to be clear that I believe dissolution and divorce are wrong for our family, but I would file divorce if I had to.
I said this, and it's so true - after the divorce I would have NOTHING to do with her except where absolutely necessary for the best interest of the kids, because when anyone hurts me or my kids, I will take action appropriately. I sometimes forget the real victims in this are my kids, and the hurt they have felt, and are still feeling - and will feel for a long time to come.
I then thanked her for her time, and said I looked forward to receiving her dissolution papers.
MY FEELINGS: I am doing very very well. When I first saw her response, I had a moment where my stomach went all weird, but as soon as I saw how her response was worded, I just shook my head.
I think it was AmyM that said she would take her husband back, even after divorce, but he would be a changed man. I'm sort of the same way: I would take W back, but she would have had to "shed" this weird skin she has pulled over her. I'm really not pushing divorce at this point for her, it's for ME.
I'm ready for divorce - I hate it, and it hurts even now, especially seeing where W's facade is starting to wear thin. But, who knows how long that would take?
And I cannot sit by and let my children believe that the relationship that W is carrying on with OM is right in any way. I love it so much that W tries to have OM over, and bring his kids so that it's all "fun and giggles" and the kids still say they want us together.
Just makes this decision of mine feel that much better. W knows that OM is not even her type, she knows the kids want us together, and she knows what she's doing is wrong. Period.
I am not having any second thoughts, I don't regret the decision. I asked God to check me or stop me if it was in ANY way wrong, and I felt peace and very clear about it.
Maybe W will hand me dissolution papers tomorrow.
WRAPPING UP: My last communication to her will be to give her back my ring. I will thank her for her promise that the ring represented, and the time that she kept it. I really want to suggest to her that she be more careful the next time she makes the promise, but I'm taking the high road.
Then, unless it is in reference to the kids, I have no plans to ever speak to her again. Ever. She will cease to exist to me.
