nocodes....... I just want to say SEE you ARE a great father and someone for him to look up to. As his mother is making an azz out of herself, you are truly someone that he will respect and you should be proud of that.
Congrats to S8!! I know how happy you must be
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
CONGRATULATIONS to S8!!!!!! And good job dad, teaching him the values of a Scout, and of an honorable, valued person. Keep it up!
Originally Posted By: tiredandlost
nocodes....... I just want to say SEE you ARE a great father and someone for him to look up to.
Thanks for that, Lwb, Tal. I am trying to do my part for the sake of my kids. It's the most important thing I can do, might ever do.
Yes, I am proud of my boys.
Originally Posted By: Yoyowife
How are you? Any big plans with the boys this weekend?
I don't have the boys this weekend, but our cub scout den had planned a community service project cleaning up one of the local parks. STBXW was even agreeable to let me take S8 for part of today, for this one scout activity. Unfortunately, with all this cold, wet, wet weather that has hit us the event was cancelled.
Oh, well, I'll be missing both of my S's this weekend as usual. But then I've got a lot of work to catch up on anyway -- I'll be plenty busy with that.
I have been so caught up in work for so many days, weeks now, that I am extremely exhausted. Despite that I seem to be holding up, (especially now that I seem to have finally shaken the last vestiges of this persistent, lingering cold.)
I finally got my boys back yesterday (Friday). We've had a bit too much fun today. We went to the grocery store and the park. I allowed S8 to cook a hamburger and hot dog dinner for the three of us, so he can earn an achievement towards completing his Wolf badge in cub scouts. He's done very well in that -- now he has just one achievement left to complete the requirement.
All of this and the additional crap from work (lots of tasks and project work to catch up) has left me drained. I just got through wrapping up an extremely overdue month-end report, crossing my fingers that I've managed to hold onto my job.
Next week will mark the end of my M.. the big D will become final ...either on Monday or Friday -- I don't recall which day the court will review it, but it doesn't matter since I have no intention of being there. Right now I am feeling somewhat decidedly ambivalent (is that an oxymoron?) about the final death of my M. I might feel differently after it's over however.
I caught the movie Fireproof last weekend. Some of the acting was pretty poor, but the dialog and the events of the story affected me nonetheless. It was good, but I heard so many words that echoed those and the thoughts of myself and my own W. I can (and did for a short time) entertain speculations of what might have happened had I undertaken the Love Dare with W and if that would have made any difference in the course of events. Perhaps I am too close to things, and maybe I am colored by a lingering touch of bitterness at my fate, but I currently conclude that there might never have been any point in our marital history where something like the Love Dare would have succeeded, at least not for very long -- eventually something would have convinced W to stray. W is ever the faithless, stray cat; while I am the loyal dog.
Things have been very quiet between W and I. And that has been peaceful, not having some new twist in the insane drama to harangue me. That was, at least, until yesterday. After picking up the boys I asked S4 about the fact he was no longer going to be going to pre-school. As many of you know, W had decided to totally re-engineer the lives of my S's to suit some nebulous purpose and without my input or approval. She has eliminated S4's preschool (made effective this week) and now the evil MIL will be S4's sole source of daytime care and education for the next year and a half, when S4 can enter kindergarten. She took S8 out of the Y program and put him back on the bus, again with the evil MIL overseeing. All of this has been a serious bone of contention between W and I... Our L's have had to work quite a bit more than is prudent.
Well, as I was driving back to my apartment with my S's and I was in conversation with S4 to search out his feelings about no longer seeing all his friends in preschool, his big brother piped up. S8 said that his mother was going to be able to save some money by taking S4 out of preschool and taking S8 out of the YMCA before-and-after school program.
I told S8 that I was well aware that W had indeed hoped to realize some form of savings, but not that it would save me anything.
S8 continued to talk though: he said that W was saving up for a vacation, to take an Alaskan cruise. S8 was ecstatic at the prospect of his mother taking him to see orcas and huskies.
This was a new revelation for me, the first I'd heard of it, one fraught with bittersweet irony too. Since we lived in Seattle and for years thereafter I had suggested we take a cruise to Alaska -- th closest we got was British Columbia by ferry -- but it was never the right time or we never had the right finances/fiscal priorities. But now she is free of our M she feels it can be done? Without me, then of course.
As you might guess my first thought is that this is really her plans for a honeymoon. Oh, W says she is "done" with M, but she has proven over and over again how full of lies and deceit she really is. She can't be trusted.
My next thought is that W is relishing the thought that I would be subsidizing her great venture. She has prided herself at her hard-fought independence from me, nevermind her continued efforts to yoke me in servitude to her whims belies her pretense and baseless arrogance.
One thing that Fireproof has gotten me to realize: I still love my wife. I can no longer be married to her, and I cannot stand what she has done to us, continues to do to us... but I still love her. If she were to come back to me, I couldn't take her back, but I do still love her.
I realize that she has created a situation where we must forever be apart -- and I am slowly coming to be alright with that.
I realize that she has created a situation where we must forever be apart -- and I am slowly coming to be alright with that.
That's good. I had the same thought about the Alaskan vacation too. I'm hoping she does actually take your boys on the vacation, b/c it sounds like she is kind of cutting out a lot of their activities and fun to help fund it, which I think even at their young age they realize.
Your D is happening so fast! I don't know if it's good to have it drag out a year like mine b/c of the $$$, but it must be also tough to have it happen so quickly. The adjustment and everything. Do you feel you are ready at this point? I think I am getting to that point now, but it's taken me a long time to get there. Karen
