Slowly but surely - detach and 180

[hopefulinEG]

Yesterday was a very bad day for me. I cried a lot and defnitely had a big pity party. I feel like I am going through the grief I felt at the beginning of all this over again. I was just getting to where I could not think about it all day and have fun again and now I am back to square one. Maybe it will be shorter this time. I hope so.

I am also struggling with not telling her I know about the PA. One one hand I want her to know that I know how much she betrayed me and I have a hope that when she knew I know she might reveal that she regrets everything and just didn't know how to tell me and fix . And I also feel guilty for deceiving her and being manipulative. I know she has lied up and down and manipulated me but that doesn't make what I am doing feel right either. But the consequences of telling her and what she might do in panic could be very bad.

Today I am working on trusting the universe and trying to forgive her. When I think about those two things it helps to stop both the anger and the sadness. The universe has never let me down so far. Everything that has happened in my life was for a reason and I ended up somewhere better. It is hard to imagine how this could make things better in the long run but I have to trust that it can and will. I bought a ring today and am having it engraved with Trust the Universe inside to help remind me of this.

~Catherine