Thanks for the thoughtful replies and needed spanks.
LRT-I can't seem to figure out what this acronym means.
Can I handle a PA?--Not sure. I know one of my issues is too much planning and control. I am not allowing myself to obsess over what he may or may not do and what my reaction would be. In a way, I'm sorry I interupted his "experiment" because she remains a fantasy that isn't sullied by real life.
I meant I know I am not managing the process of his MLC. I will be full-time managing me now.
I am trying to figure out my responsibility in the breakdown of the marriage. This has not come together into cogent thoughts yet. I am working with an IC. I think just as much as he is passive and undeveloped, I CHOSE to live a half-baked emotional life as some sort of "safe play." Still haven't fully developed those thoughts yet.
Yes, there is no relationship talk outside of the MC. He has made and will be making the MC appts or we won't go so there is relationship talk there. I still DB there. Him making these appts (like dialing the phone!) has literally been the biggest investment he's made into this marriage outside of his career. I told him years ago that he translated every issue I ever brought up into working harder at his career.
Half--I hear what you are saying and have (unfortunately) used the term "damaged goods" to refer to my husband's emotional capabilities since the bomb. He is showing a desire to look at himself and said he has been running from his emotions his whole life. I don't know if he can make enough improvement before my heart closes down, but for now, I'm in until I'm out.
I am all lawyered up and cancelled two appts to sign the first set of papers. I feel safe for now. I think just as he has withheld a part of him from me, he withheld real life actions from her (gifts, $, time, PA).
