Life after exposure

[Still Waters]

I think that's my biggest question, running. Could I ever trust my W to raise my children the way I want them to be raised?

Right now she's so fogged out and selfish that I thank the Lord everyday that we hadn't had kids yet. That's a question that my IC asked me very early on. He said "Would you really trust your W to raise your children?" At the time, I said that I didn't know. That was a couple weeks after she moved out.

Right now, if he asked again, I'd say no way. As long as she's in the state she's in, I don't trust her one bit. I don't even trust her as my W, let alone the mother of my children.

Which is why I'm now debating whether or not to end this whole thing and move on. I still would rather have her come back and try to reconcile so that I could walk away without any regrets if things don't work out. I'm no quitter, and I always give it everything I have until I move on. But in this case I can only do so much.

As I've said before, I deserve better than this. We all do. My W treats me like a stranger, or worse, like an enemy. When really she's her own worst enemy. I'm just the scapegoat.