WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 5

[confusedinpa]

"She was complaining/venting about her neck hurting (it had been bothering her for some time). My blackberry was in my locker so I didn't email her back until an hour later. I emailed to express that I cared and was concerned - but didn't offer any solutions (i.e. massage, etc.) like I had in the past. She responded in an email right away complaining/venting more about her neck."

Sure is putting allot of emphases on her neck, I am sorry but it sounds kind of like a set up.....setting you up for going out.

Is the friend with the daughter a male?
Where was the friend while she was getting her massage.... It could just be as she says but for some reason this just does not sound right.
Goes to work in a sexy outfit comes up with a reason to stay out
comes home relaxed and happy ...and she did not want sex?

Keep your eyes open man...

I appreciate the concern and the thought had crossed my mind. The reality is that if that's what she's doing, I can't control her. She has already filed for divorce and wants to move out.

I'm not concerned that she did not want sex as it is a bad time of the month for her. Frankly, after we had sex on each Thursday for the last 2 weeks, she had major swings to the negative in her attitude/behaviors. I would rather forgo the sex for now, just to keep building positive moments to drive the negative/hurt further into the distant memory.

I forget if the friend is a male or not, but the daugher is in her late 20's/early 30's. I'm relatively certain the friend is a female though.

As far as the outfit, she had worn it to work before. I thought it was sexy - it was just a nice white shirt with a low, for her, neck line (she wore a tank top underneath it) with dress pants, but I thought she looked really nice in it. She had for the past several weeks, since it's been so cold, just wearing turtlenecks or a sweater. I think most people would have just called it a nice outfit. I thought she looked sexy

In the past, I had driven myself crazy paranoid whenever she wanted to go out with the girls or do anything by herself. So I smothered her and made her feel trapped. My lack of self-esteem made me insecure of letting her do anything by herself.

I don't know for sure if there is something going on outside of our marriage. That's had been everyone's reaction that know about my situation. My wife and I talked about that at length during my panic. She thought I was cheating on her. I thought she had found someone else. We never talked about it though. We have now. I do believe that she hadn't and I know I haven't.

Right now, the only thing I can do is control what I do. Apparently, that's all that I could ever do. I was fooling myself in the past when I thought I could control her.

So I am living my life to enjoy it to its fullest. I want her in it, but I know I dont need her in it.