Partner left after 9 yrs - Wants to finish with ow

[25yearsmlc]

Ali - Soz - to jump in onto your thread with this -

25years - " what the heck is GFI? gf is girl friend, or good friend and "I" is...intelligent?? intuitive?? Inventive...insane...??? Just asking..."

25 -

Hey 25...to clarify (again!) I think your posts are great, so insightful and very very helpful - I wasn't intending saying anything other than that! Was simply trying to bring a more light-hearted slant into things - which of course - can go wrong...

So... friends?

And so 25 ...do you have a thread?

Best - really!!! GFI - aka GOING FOR IT - aka in reality - Simon - there - I've said it!

PS - thanks Ali - sorry to take up this space...

GFi, I was not referring to your name or username. Just saw it in her posts and wondered what it meant. If she was referring to you, then that's that. I had no meaning other than wanting to know if it was another acronym I'm ignorant of.

Ali, I feel a bit of defensiveness from you and I'm not sure why.

To put it bluntly I think your fears of what I might be implying are well founded so I'll just put it out there okay? I do think you are waiting around. In the back of your mind, I feel as if you are not making actual plans for your life without him factoring in heavily. Of course I could be wrong. That's just what I'm getting from the tone of your posts in this one place in your life. But that is what I'm getting... A lot of waiting and seeing...and I'm wondering why? Why wait on him at all??

He is with another woman. Dating her, living or not living with her - we only know he is no longer living with you...and has not asked to either. He has dropped hints about you that cost and risk him NOTHING...

If that is enough for you, then I just want to say I think you deserve better. A lot better. And I'm sorry that you think he won't make an effort if he thinks it would take too much to get you back...But if he isn't the jealous type, why would another man make him run away so much - and isnt' that just a TAD hypocritical? Yes, I restate my position...you deserve better.

And fwiw about why some people say you are not GAL (which is not what I said), I think statements that say you should "just wait and see" lead some of us to wonder about your GAL statements --- as do the very frequent contacts...other than the house sale, what else is there to talk about? (I don't recall if the house is the matter at issue or something else...but assuming there are no other financial connections and no children, what is the goal here? That your friendship will grow again and bloom back into what it once was? I'm sincerely asking).

If you think this approach is working...somehow --AND is enough for you then do as you wish. But yeah, for the last time, I think you deserve better.... (and I'm so sorry your mother burdened you with her projections of marital misery, but GLAD that you gave that baggage back to her, or threw it away...)

((( j )))