THANK YOU ALL!!! for setting me straight. I am getting great advice and I really appreciate all of you, Sandi, Still, WT, Steady, 25 for taking interest in me and helping me through this process.
I know that I need to wake up, grow up, be a man and just detach and let things happen as they may. I just bought 2 books that I heard mentioned in some other threads (Hold onto your NUTS and Love without hurt) and I hope they will help me grow personally and learn how to act.
Its pretty weird because I am really introverted and quiet but with this sitch I am the exact opposite and emotional as hell. I had a IC today with my MC about some tests she gave me in our first meeting. It was a personality test, depression test and anxiety test. It was the first time I have ever seen these things about me and it was really an awakening. Also, C said that she had real hope that my W would eventually come around and that just based on one meeting and the answers W gave and willingness to discuss and just be there was a good sign????
I also have stopped the paxil already after four days per my doc since I was feeling terrible yesterday and really having bad thoughts for the first time ever. He said that in a couple of weeks he will put me on celexa instead.
I feel a lot better today after my IC and I haven't talked to wife since around 2:30 today when she was at my office and then it was just short and logistical. I will take all of your advice and work on me. Tonight I went to the movie with a friend and saw Watchmen (really weird) and got my mind off of everything for a couple of hours.
Also, I know that I need to stop snooping but it is very hard because I am the type that wants to know whats going on. But I also know that I can't let her know that I know and it makes it even worse just internalizing everything. My goal for tomorrow is that I will not look at cell phone records or facebook or OM's keylogger at all. Also, I will not call or text W tomorrow and will only talk to her at our MC tomorrow afternoon.
Thanks again for posting and giving advice. I really need to hear from all you to keep my spirits up!!!
