You must take care of yourself. Believe me I know how hard it is when you are feeling so down. Yesterday I got dressed put on some pretty jewelry and went to a coffee shop. Just to get out and do something.
If you feel that your husband is manipulating you then he might be you know him.
One thing that I did with my husband was that instead of being positive I was needy. I whined and slept all day. Who wants to come home to a spouse like that? I was depressed and it bothered him more.
So , you keep upbeat no matter how hard it is.Right now he is in control because even though you say you are not a victim he sees you that way.
