In desperate need of advice, separation looming!

[Purple]

I haven't got time to post properly but I like Another Nightmare's approach. She needs space and time. you need to show by your actions that you can maintain these changes.

you probably need to expect that as time goes on and you maintain these changes that she will get angry. You may ask why will she get angry? Well, (projecting my own sitch here) as she feels 'safer' with you (which she doesn't right now, she's waiting for you to blow up and crack) she will likely start to really open up about how she has felt over the course of the marriage. It will hurt, but just because she gets angry, doesn't necessarily mean a bad thing. If she can feel safe to really express herself and you can be comfortable enough with yourself to really listen to her and try to understand where she is coming from, that will give you potential for reconciliation in the future.

It sounds like she really needs space in order to break the habits of interacting with you (which is always thinking of what you want first, instead of checking with her gut to see if it's alright with her). I can relate very strongly to this part.

Gotta do some work. Hope this helps a little.

She needs to hear that you understand how she feels. By staying, you are disrespecting how she feels. I really should elaborate, but I haven't got time right now....

Hugs..