JDOllie's Story #6

[pearlharbr]

What's your great line about not trying to make sense of the nonsense? I know your version is much better, it's just stuck in my brain.

You can thank her then put the behavior on that shelf with all the other weirdness (it's getting a little crowded up there, no?).

Remember, words without actions aren't worth a hill of beans.

[Sam1007]

Pearl,
I think it was: "You can't rationalize the irrational".

JD, it seems there is some movement in the ship. It's all very uncoordinated and irrational, but it is movement. Don't know which way yet. Since you're not 100% sure yet, I would see which way things are going without changing anything you do.

[JDOllie]

Yeah, it doesn't matter. I am ending this.

It is time. I just sort of knew it today. I love W dearly, more than I ever have, but my kids deserve some closure.
They deserve to know that divorce and affairs are wrong, and that they don't have to expect to put up with their spouses doing this.

I will tell them again that I love Mommy dearly, but I am filing divorce.

I appreciate all the advice as I've gone back and forth. I probably knew this needed to happen on some level, but just wasn't ready for it.

I am now.

[Silver Fox]

Well, remember that filing is just a step. And I've discovered there are many, many more steps to the final D.

Stay strong.

[davidswife]

JD,

Prayers for you and your children. Make these steps for you and the kids.

Thinking of all of you.

Stacy

[JDOllie]

I should also say that I am not angry or bitter. Very much at peace. My post up there seemed a bit snippy!

[Startingover2]

(((JD)))

Like someone said...filing is just the first step of many. Things could still change like the wind, but you are taking a stand for you and your children.

[davidswife]

JD,

I don't think you sounded bitter or snippy at all.

Stacy

[JDOllie]

I did email W. It felt right, and I will go Monday and start divorce proceedings. I don't fear it, I don't feel checked - I just know it's time.

I believe God can perform a miracle in W's mind, and I'm looking for him to do so, but this is right for now.

Here is my email: I didn't make any attempt to follow DB principles, I simply said what was in my heart:

-------------------------------------------------------
Dear W,

I was a little surprised by your "niceness" last week. It was kind of cool - I forgot how well we talked, and the silly stuff we used to laugh at. I enjoy hearing your stories. I miss "us".

I think the kids must've noticed the niceness too - maybe that's why S6 asked us if we were getting back together. I asked him why he said that, and he didn't know, but both he and D8 said they'd be so happy if we got back together. D8 even gave this great big sigh, and sort of whispered, "Oh YES!"

The situation isn't fair to them.

I do not want to, but since you are continuing your affair/whatever, I am filing for divorce. I owe myself and the kids some closure, and I need to be an example for them.

Also, I am not angry or bitter, but I do choose not to be friends. I cannot do that when you have refused to work on our relationship and marriage, and when you chose to have an affair - you just don't treat people that way - but I will be civil.

I love you, I love my kids, I love this family, and I would crawl through broken glass if it meant making us happy and whole.

Sincerely,
JDOllie

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Now, onto the next chapter in my life!

[K4D]

JD,

I know its been a long and hard road for you, but just because she is committing adultery doesn't mean you should end it. She is sinning right now. That is for sure. But it is just a sin. A hard one, believe me I know.

I'm sure you probably don't want to hear this from me as you have worked so tirelessly hard to win her back.

Ugg... I know how you feel. I just hate to see divorce.

Kevin