I didnt discuss it with BMF, I'd already decided not to.. he said a few things and I just said "well.. we are in regular contact by email".. as in, I have my own contact with him, you dont have to tell me. Ditto Cher.. she told me BMF is meeting him and I just said, I am glad ex has a good friend to talk to and asked nothing.
Rob, we are in regular contact, every few days (he emailed me twice Friday, twice Monday and texted yesterday). But I decided not to phone him tonight for 2 reasons.. one.. why should I chase him up on his mobile? I need to be more unavailable now I think. Second, I didnt completely trust myself not to be cool and casual with him and not let any whistfulness creep into my voice.
I'm not making excuses for him, in fact, I think he is cake eating. I was touched to get the present and card and yes its positive.. but the reason I didnt email or text him first, was becuase deep down, I was a little cross.. he isnt just giving to me, with no expectation.. he sent me that present for his OWN ends.. he knows he couldnt have missed my bd and not shown a little bit of care (and he made sure to put thought into it), he knows he would be pushing me too far if he had ignored it.. its wierd how it works...yes, we are in limbo by choice, but even the WAS does just enough to KEEP us in limbo. I believe thats what he's doing.
