My situation #9

[steady]

I think taking care of her last week set me up for a fall too.

Correct. Because you slid back into old behaviors. Forgive yourself and move on.

Yes. And I forgive myself.

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How do you stop caring? How do you stop loving? I can relate to the detaching part and I wish I didn't care or love her. But that's not the case at this particular time.

Acknowledge that you love and care but also acknowledge that it is not returned. Acknowledge that her treatment of you is unacceptable. And after you acknowledge these things let the thoughts go. Reclaim your strength and commitment to yourself.

Again, Yes. It is not returned and her treatment of me is unacceptable. Closer to disgusting.

So in reality, I can't always do it by myself. That's why I reach out.

You do this all yourself. We just guide you back to the path. All the work is YOURS. And you should reach out, that's how we know to guide you back. Well, most of us guide you back, someone thumps you back on path, but it all works.

And that was a mistake I made. No posting as soon as I saw myself circling the drain. LOL @ the thumps...those are great too. They have a good way of waking me up. So I do appreciate them alot.

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I'm working on keeping my mind in today, in this moment, and when I see my mind wandering backwards or forwards I keep bringing it back to the present.

Right that's what I mean about acknowledging thoughts. If they come into your mind, recognize them and pull your focus to the task at hand - the present moment - your current focus - YOU.

WT

WT you are the best! I am so glad you post on my thread.

I feel much better now than I have in the past few days. And I think the problem was I wasn't posting what was going on - if I had, I could have resolved it much quicker.

A few minutes ago I realized something:

I am resisting what is and it's causing my misery. The situation itself is sad and not in line with what I want, but it is what it is. To resist it is insanity because it is and anything else is just a dream and not reality - and only causes more and more pain depending on how high the resistence goes.

This is fundamental Jiu Jitsu - and I studied that art for 10 years and became and instructor. Again, like I said before, I need to go back to my roots.