Well, I was partially wrong. W did ask them if they liked them, but she was specifically asking if the kids wanted them to come over last week, not a permanent thing.
However, S6 did tell me that he didn't like OM - bonus! I don't think he told W - I think he's afraid to.
So, it wasn't quite what I thought it was, but that's actually kind of good. Sort of made my stomach queasy just thinking about it.
I agree with the others, do not call her or otherwise give her a head's up about what you plan to do. You cannot believe anything she says and it won't make a difference. If you are ready to file for D then file. If you're not ready then don't. It's got nothing to do with what W wants, only what you want.
Good for getting involved directly with the kids' teachers. W is obviously distracted these days so best to keep on top of things yourself so S6 and D8 don't suffer for her inattention.
If you love somebody, set them free. http://tinyurl.com/2empx2g
It is sort of weird that W sat the kids down and asked them if they liked OM's kids - that's the funny thing hanging out there.
So to me, it's one of two things: 1. They're wanting to get hitched. 2. She's trying to find some lame excuse to break it up without hurting her pride.
Hopefully it was nothing. May have just been chit chat. She hasn't divorced you yet, so I don't know how she could already be thinking M with OM yet if at all.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Because she justifies the A by saying we've been separated for so long, we "aren't married".
Amazing!
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
W called me and went on and on about how D8's two friends weren't treating her very well. The one little girl is very possessive, and kind of "steals" the other friend. D8 is extremely sensitive, and is just hurt to the core, of course.
W went on some diatribe about why does everything have to be so narrow-minded - as if all this is happening as a result of D8 being at a Christian school. I explained to her that was girls - and it was going to happen again, especially since D8 is so quiet and sensitive.
I also explained that I wanted them in a small privates school - we can afford it, it isn't expensive, and they are probably a half or 3/4 grade ahead of their public school friends.
I also said that I was so proud of how loving and kind and open and color-blind our kids are. They are white, and if they see an Asian or black kid, and you would ask them "Which kid is it?" - they would say, "The one in the red shirt" and never refer to their skin color.
Then this is what had me just shaking my head: W said, "The kids are that way because of their parents, because of US, and how we've raised them!"
:: blink blink ::
So, wait, our children are wonderful because of their family life, and you're leaving it why?
Just as crazy as my H letting me know that he's always making his decisions based on the best interests of our boys. The craziest thing about the comment was that it came most recently during our convo. about his plan to move in with OW and live with her as an unmarried couple. How can that possibly be in the best interest of our boys?????
But, what I really stopped by to say, is that I've just discovered that everyone is right when they say, "When you are ready, you'll know." Cause it's just happened to me. There's not doubt in my mind...I don't want to be married to this man any longer. I just want to get on with my life! That means that there's no reason to act until you get to that point. Don't worry about it...just "be" until then!
Love to you and yours! Amy
Me 39 H 36 S 7 S 4 T 15 M 12 H out 8/1/08 OW confirmed 8/6/08 D final on 6/12/09...I'm doing good!
It's all about where your moral compass is, in my opinion.
So, glad to hear where you are - believe it or not, I LONG to be in that place, but it seems like W is just getting more and more emotionally involved.
I was just saying to Tawnya how it was funny that W called me - and was almost imploring me to change schools for the kids because of what happened to D8. She didn't even mention that she has 50% of the choice and responsibility, but she knows how I am. I was just thinking that she is actually showing respect - something that hasn't happened for a long time.
Oh, and I commented on how my private school education really helped me, and she said, "YOU would have done well anywhere you went, because you are so smart."
I don't know about that, but geez, compliments now?
I don't think he told W - I think he's afraid to.