Can you say: "Sweetie, I forgive you the A. But I still hurt. This isn't about you, it isn't about more recriminations, it isn't about tearing you down. It is about me and my pain. I want to hear that you hear me, that you understand my pain. I want reassurance that you love ME, that you want ME. I want you to tell my why I'm not stupid for trusting you. I want you to comfort me and help me feel secure. I want to not feel scared that you will run away if I show you my pain. Because as long as I can't show you my pain, I withhold part of myself. I hide myself from you. And because I hide myself, I ache for intimacy of a kind we can't have, intimacy that is deep because we reveal ourselves to each other."
Yep, I have done this and those were almost my exact words. Unfortunately, he will never be able to understand my pain. He can't b/c it hasn't happened to him. There is no way for someone to feel what I feel/felt until it happens to them.
He does love me and I know that.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
