I am certainly jealous in my heart, despite knowing that I have no reason to be. I am also curious as to what type of person has a relationship with a married person. I fully understand the "got really drunk, made a huge mistake" excuse but to knowingly carry on for months with someone who is married is very strange.
My h was not the strip bar type. He would go on occasion with the guys from work, as one of the EVPs from the UK loved the strip bars in Toronto, but he always told me when he got home and was always a little ashamed.
He started going with the guys after hockey on Friday nights and stopped telling me. I have no idea when, because everything he told me is a lie. He did say, when I found out after we split, that he was "in a dark place" and no longer went because he didn't "need to anymore." Nice. Getting him to admit to contact with the lapdancers took a long time. I am disgusted and will never think of him the same way again. It is amazing to me that some men do this habitually and are surprised when women consider it a deal-breaker.
My dream really was very clear and when I woke up, I was very relieved. I know that they recommend that you don't speak with everyone about what is happening with your marriage in case of a reconcilliation down the road but I told EVERYONE who would listen to me. We don't have mutual friends so it was not an issue for me.
Finding out that h was the only one who got fired in his group reinforced for me that it was not just about the financial crisis, but it will take a lot to convince my heart that this is all about him. My head knows it but my heart is not following. I still feel rejected and unwanted.
I looked briefly into cooking classes but believe it or not most classes offered are either for those studying to be a chef or they are "date nights" where groups of couples cook a meal together. The only other ones I could find are day classes on how to feed your baby properly, etc.
I do still read a lot so a book club would be a good idea. I would have to do it on my own however as I don't think any of my friends would have the time. I will see what I can find on the Internet.
You would think the gym would be a good place to meet people but as luck would have it, I am the only straight person at my new gym. Seriously. The good thing is I don't have to worry about being hit on.
