Wondering how to handle things

[mishka422]

(((((Kissak)))))))

Oh, I understand the analyzing! It's hard not to especially since your H seems so freaked about losing control over your time. You do realize that is what he is doing, right? He is trying to control you without being overt about it. By him questioning you and keeping in constant contact with you about EVERYTHING he is keeping you from stepping forward truly with your own life.

Passive-aggressive behavior.

It's very hard to identify. My xh was the same way. Always wanting to know what I was doing, who I was talking to, finding excuses to need to drop by. No more. I put my foot down about my boundaries and flat out told him that being in constant contact with him was not healthy for me and it was making my healing more difficult. He didn't want to hurt me anymore than he had so he stayed away and only communicated to me about our son and then only by text. It made it much easier for me and now we can talk again. He still asks me what I'm doing, where I'm going, but I don't answer unless it involves our son too. I don't flat out tell him it's none of his business, I'm just very vague.

I know you've heard all of this before. It's a matter of being reminded of it and applying practices that protect you from getting sucked back into his insecurities and being controlled by subversion!