Partner left after 9 yrs - Wants to finish with ow

[25yearsmlc]

well since I am a veteran (Gulf War, and I am, seriously--) it's time we do some "recon" (reconnaissance) and "psy ops", (psychological operations). IOW, we KNOW bff and bmf are prone to talking....

SO we use the fact that they "talk" leak info, to your advantage....and you keep on GAL, BUT have some mystery to it, and hope to God that they pass it on...

Clearly he wants to know you are waiting (yes we do know that, don't we?) but the question is, now that he knows, and didn't break up with her, that's not so great is it? Maybe If he thought he was losing you he might have "coped" with the "inconvenience" of being around helen even though it'd be uncomfortable--so what!! He's uncomfortable...really? Were YOU comfortable when they went off together? Gee, breaking up with OW can be awkward...how tragic for him. Let's make it as easy on HIM as possible...good grief! (Okay, there I go, being American and all--)

Glad to hear you think you've GAL enough for him to realize you're a great catch. But he did nothing different...hmmm. What to think? I believe you have GAL if you say so, I really do.

But the fact that he's still in a R with her says one of two things: 1-either he really just wants to string you along in case he might want to someday come back, and likes knowing there's no competition, and he can take his sweet time returning if and when he wants to; OR 2- he's not man enough to deal with a relatively TINY amount of discomfort on his end at work, b/c compared to what he put you thru, so what?

Sorry honey, but I think Helen is getting the brunt of your anger and your xbf is getting off light. He's the one who was in a monogamous R with you, not her. (And if she was also in one, that's her ex bf's problem not yours). As women, we often blame OW's more than our WAS's for cheating, and that troubles me a bit. Why do we do that?

Anyhow, that's my .02 cents, which is buying LESS AND LESS each day. Probably should increase it to a dime so we know it's still a real coin...also--if I recall correctly, you DID discuss M but decided not to for what reason? Was it you who said no? Can't recall right now but will look it up. Just trying to recall if there was a pattern of him not making hard choices. He sure isn't right now. And he owes you that. AS for his awkwardness at work for 6 weeks....come on, seriously, is that really a good enough reason to keep the knife in your chest and still be seeing her? And not you?

Psy Ops-
BMF needs to hear about you going out with a "new friend" who seems very "intriguing to you" and you just tell bmf that you're "crossing [your] fingers" and "seeing where it goes" and you make an apparent effort to minimize the R, b/c you "don't want 'anyone' to know", as you are keeping it on the "D L", hush hush, etc.

Make sense?

Okay, "over and out" -if we really do the psy ops, we'll have to have more code names...so I'll be

"Awakened Beauty" and you can be...."Hot Woman"...unless you have something else in mind...

((( j )))