Episode IV: A New Hope (?)

[dday101798]

unbelievable. The woman essentially kidnaps the boys, files a false claim for emergency custody at an address she knew I wouldn't respond, all just to get 'temporary support' and she essentially does.

This legal system bites.

At least I have a set visitation schedule now, not what I wanted, but they are playing the whole "suicidal" thing against me to a T. No overnights for at least one month and that's IF and ONLY IF I pay her support.

Completely ridiculous.

I so wanted to crank OM dead in the face in the hall, he kept going out and interveining in every conversation with the attorneys, scummy sob has NOTHING to do with this.

Now, we get to go through a month of medation and parenting classes.

Well, atleast on the flip side, NEITHER one of us can have a single drop of any alcohol around the boys, THAT ought to be real interesting for her.

[dday101798]

Heh, oddity of the day:

"Gemini (May 21-June 21): 6. Frustrations will start to lessen soon. Try to be patient. Something that's got you upset now could look funny by tomorrow. Meanwhile, don't say anything you'll regret."

[SpinFree]

Have you thought about an abuse of process complaint?

[dday101798]

Not sure how any of this works, that was the intent to hire my attorney as this is the rest of my kids lives at stake and is just too important to try and figure out on my own.

In due time I think it will all start to pan out, but for now it's just not looking all that good.

[dday101798]

Trucking along with life.

Have had 2 "visits" with the boys so far and one tonight. The time constraints of these "visits" sheds a whole new light on the saying to not take the little things for granted.

Won't post much of the details here as previously stated, I believe it's been her portal to know what I'm up to.

None the less, life is getting 'better', joined a bowling league and that will give me some time to take focus off all this.

Had a conversation with STBX Monday night on the phone, first in a LONG time. Strictly about the boys, nothing more, nothing less as ordered. And man, did I do A LOT of tongue biting during that, my cousin that I live now was amazed at how well I controlled myself after I filled her in onsome of the things STBX said.

Oh, further more for the record, since there's no harm in posting this here in case she made read it, the boys have had cell phones for the whole duration after she took them last month, but were not allowed to call me! Nice, huh? I bust my rump trying to get them phones so they can talk to their mother but couldn't scrounge up the deposit, and yet she's able to take advantage of having no financial responsiblity and get them and not even have them let me know they have phones.

I still have yet to be questioned as to why I still display the last remaining wedding photo. Curious.

[dday101798]

Just checking in, sort of.

Looking forward to "visit" tonight, guess we'll go bowling again as I have to practice for Sunday and the time usage works out perfectly.

As all this is sinking in I'm finding myself going through a weird metamorphises I can't explain. I've never been vocal with people in the sense of expressing what's important to me, case being STBX, at the end of a disagreement, I always let her roll over me. But now, I'm finding myself taking a stance for myself.

Might have something to do with the fact that I have to talk to to her, and when I do, I have to cordial and "accepting".

I don't know, but overall through this changing I am feeling really really good. I haven't had any breakdown issues or anything for over a week and half and find myself just feeling better as each day goes on, even in light of I'm getting my first paycheck with "single" taxes deducted on Friday, OUCH! what a difference.

Other than that, took the kids to the local skateboard park by me on last Saturday and they dragged me out of retirement (used to ride on the amature tour many many moons ago). It was cool, we had some good bonding times and then as I started to get the feel for everything again when I'd cathc up with the boys on one of the ramps waiting to go they'd say "cool stuff Dad" and all the other kids would say "that's your Dad!?!" LOL.

Also the trip to the park took us past the middle school they would go to if living with me. It's huge, and it's clean with a basball field and football field versus their currnet school that has a concrete lot. They started asking questions about it and when we were out in 'my' yard and heard all the other kids on the blocks playing they were asking about how many kids lived around me that are their age. Big change from last week when they said they'd "be bored" living with me.

well, that's about all. Oh, think I'm going to finally cave on this issue, my boss has been heckling me about our department administrative assistant having "inquired" of me in recent months. They are going out to lunch today and conveniently my lunch meat smelled funny this morning so I have no lunch. Heh, maybe I'll be a 3rd wheel.

[dday101798]

Hhe, busy day, just spent an hour on the phone with my L.

More of the same, SBTX has no money and can't keep this up. Sorry hon, this is jsut getting started.

Would love to post the details, but so far, comments from/by the kids that I have realyed on to L are not going in her faovr at all.

Also, I've been green light authorized to "burn the house down on the issue of income taxes". She claimed the kids and had no right, thus somebody owes owes the feds some money. Oh, and she's not alone, FIL will be getting audited too since he never claimed rental income on his taxes for at least the last 4 years.

This is going to get ugly.

But I feel good, much better than ealier today.

[dday101798]

Did the lunch thing, it was nice. Nice "girl", divorced went through a lot of junk, as we all know.

[dday101798]

Just stopping by.

Things more or less the same, but with some interesting development. My M ended up in the ER on Sunday. After some debate, I figured it appropriate to let STBX know. We exchanged a few cordial texts through the afternoon. Worked on my cousin's car and went to bowling leagues Sunday night, so Monday morning I was just spent physically and emotionally and took off work.

STBX started texting again, going so far as to say she wanted to call but wasn't sure if she should. This kind of lured me into a false hope, but not to badly and went so far as to ask if she would like to go to lunch. This was gunned down, rather rudely and I just left it at that.

Low and behold STBX calls later Monday night, begins mainly about my mother and how she's doing. After covering that, we lightly go over issues with the kids and their belongings left behind at our house for everyone else to take claim of, etc.

Out of no-where, the conversation took the usual nose-dive (on her behalf) and went in to the same old blame-game from her. Somehow I remained very calm through it all and had my cousin as witness should anything get out of hand. STBX again proclaims her "unbelievably strong feelings" towards me still after all this, court and all. Why? Why bother? How can someone still be so internally devout to someone they physically have no desire for to the outside world? Still can't tell if it's all some sick twisted game or what? Guess I'll fin dout at the next court date, who knows, but I didn't say anything to undermine myself and in fact terminated the call so nothing could be "used against".

Shortly there after, I sent a lone unanswered text : "sorry, I needed you (to deal with my mother) I do love you, sorry" no response no nothing, no calls from kids, nothing.

Enter Wednesday, "visitation" night. STBX walks kids to pick up location (OM still at work). Kids were on their skateboards so they naturally arrived quicker. When she caught up she looked pale. No talk of call the night before, just updated her on my M's sitch, and respectfully asked to talk to boys for atleast a few minutes every night. She was accepting of request and said I can call them whenever. Got a little lippy w/me and I told her to just relax.

S10 treid to get us all involved in a football game, wasn't going to happen.

Anyway, the really weird part, she started to walk home and as I pulled out of the parking lot, I had this weird feeling, and at the same time, the boys asked "can we give mom a ride home", I conceeded and pulled up to her and asked if she'd like a ride and she smiled and lit up like a christmas tree? I still don't understand as to why? The whole time in the car (5 blocks) she stared out of the passanger window and never looked at me once, but just that glow she had for a second or two I just don't get.

This past week she's really displayed a overall tone of remorse that I just don't know to believe or what. Both our attorney's are not returning our calls or questions. My guess and others is they want to see if we can start to hash things out.

As I passed har block this morning they were at intersection waiting to turn, after I passed she was just staring out the window at my truck with this strange look?

Game or real? That's the question and if real, what to think?

[LucasE]

I say real. I also say that real is a game.

Thanks for continuing to update. I'm a dreamer and throughout my life many of my dreams came true. Not the one where my wife comes back, however. At least not yet. Anyhow, I have been following your story for a while and this last post seems positive. Call me crazy, but her sadness has to mean something. I think the advice I would like to give myself could apply to you. Try to chill. Maybe time will heal you. Not chilling certainly won't help anything. I think you know all this. I just needed to reach out. I don't share like you do and I'm having a tough day. My latest mind script is trying to help me define how unhappy my life has become. OK, I just realized how dumb that is. SIGH. I guess I could work on a different script.

Anyway, thanks dday. I'm pulling for you and your family. Thanks again for the updates. Enjoy your days. I hope your M is better soon.

I sent an I love you text about a month ago. Duh, right? The time seemed right, I have no regrets. Except for all of the regrets.

L