So, if my H ends the affair, and says he wants to work on our marriage, I need to do all those things???
I don't know if I was planning on him moving back in right away. That would be necessary if I was to have access to his phone at all times.
Here's a BIG problem. My H is in school right now. OW is in most of his classes. (Chiro school has a set schedule of classes until they get to electives). He WILL still see her everyday. At least for the next year. I just don't know how it's going to work with that. I mean, I can't tell him to quit school. He can stay away from her at school and not talk to her. But I can already see this as an issue. He isn't someone who won't say "Hi" to someone and completely block them out.
And a no contact letter?
He needs to write OW a letter and I need to make sure it gets to her??
Wow, pretty intense.
Yep. So is adultery. I guess it depends on how serious the couple is about wanting to repair the damage that the affair caused.
Alcoholics can't go back into bars, and gambling addicts can't go back into casinos. My wife had to quit her job at the gym, that she had gone to school to get certified for, and had worked her AZZ off in order to build up her clientele (she's a personal trainer). But OM worked there, their affair was partially conducted there, and she understood that this was something she needed to do. I have heard of couples that actually MOVED TO A DIFFERENT TOWN in order to avoid contact and be left alone to rebuild their marriage.
It all depends on whether or not you view an affair as an ADDICTION. If you do (and I completely do!), then you believe in things like separating the addict from the source of their addiction (no-contact), transparency, etc.
Ever see a wayward spouse go thru hard withdrawal? It ain't pretty.
