Just got my D papers in the mail today. I'm going to sign them in the next couple of days and get them sent back.
It's been 10 mths since W did the runner. I'm pretty good now.
For the first 7 mths I was pretty messed up, but now I'm doing ok. In the best shape of my life (6 pack and all). My biggest problem is way too much partying. I have no kids...so I have no responsibilites outside of looking out for myself.
I am looking forward to getting this chapter closed for good.
H - 39 W - 38 M - 10 years, Dated 1 LYBNILWY - 5/17/2008 Moved out - 5/18/08 no kids - 2 cats
Hey Gypsy, Partying affects my wallet and once I start....I really don't stop. I tell myself it's justified partly by all the exercise I do....but exercise dosn't help the liver. Yes, I am getting plenty of attention, mostly from girls I work with. My office has about 1000 employees, so roughly 500 woman work in my office campus. I think it is my confidence & energy that is getting the attention, not my 6 pack. Only a small amount of people utalize the work gym, so not all that many people really know what I'm like under my clothes. Strange thing, I'm finding it a lot easier and more fun flirting as a 40yr old than I remember as a 25yr old when I met W. I think it's partly because I'm already established in life and have confidence based on my sucess so far. I've already met someone I really like. She's a few yrs older then me and already divorced. I think it's still too early for me to get serious with anyone. I'm not planning on really dating until the D is finalized...but you never know what happens in life. I'm going to keep our house, my retirement and all our savings. I'm not going to poach into her government retirement....so I'm financially really stable. This could not have turned out better.
H - 39 W - 38 M - 10 years, Dated 1 LYBNILWY - 5/17/2008 Moved out - 5/18/08 no kids - 2 cats
I'm not willing to waste the prime yrs of my life living in limbo. I am now pushing this along as fast as I can.
Deep down, I always knew I could never trust W again as this could happen again later on down the road and then I'd be back to square one all over again.
I have always been a great husband and provider. This is her loss. The best thing to come out of this is that I have regained a great love of myself again.
I think people around me are picking up on that..and are attracted to it.
I originally moved to the USA from NZ to marry W. I inherited all her friends and social circle. Now I have the opportunity to totally rebuild a new social circle of my own choosing of quality fun people. Many of her friends are emotional vampires. I am far better off without them in my life.
I am very enthusiastic about my future and every day is just getting better and better.
H - 39 W - 38 M - 10 years, Dated 1 LYBNILWY - 5/17/2008 Moved out - 5/18/08 no kids - 2 cats
we all have our limits and you've reached yours (I refused to set mine and it was a mess) Anyways, if the partying is messing you up there are gazillion other things you can do, depending on what you like. Find a meet-up group that likes the same thing you do (other than partying) Volunteering is a way to give back, to recieve as you give, give it a try. You sound good, glad to hear that you got all the financial stuff settled.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Still have to provide financial information....but it looks like it is going to be pretty straight forward.
Looking forward to getting this over and done with.
I've got a number of potential suitors chasing me at work...but I don't think it is wise to date co-workers. It is a big boost to the self-esteme all the same.
H - 39 W - 38 M - 10 years, Dated 1 LYBNILWY - 5/17/2008 Moved out - 5/18/08 no kids - 2 cats
Man, kinda choked on my coffee laughing when I read that line! LOL! Good to hear you're in a good place and moving on with your life! I'm just a few steps behind you in the whole D process, but I'm with you on the self-discovery and new-found confidence and happiness. I do agree about partying and how it easily can be a bit excessive at times. I figure we both have a lot of pent up "energy" to release, and it'll just be a matter of time before we "normalize".
As for dating co-workers, I liken it to a family - you wanna date someone as far removed from the gene pool as possible! Keep on kicking butt! I'll see ya on this forum group soon! Hah!
- Me = 32 y/o - WAW = 32 y/o - M = 2.5 yrs, T = 12.5 yrs - No kids - Bomb, WAW moved out, D filed = 8/15/08
Met a really great woman who I've kinda been dating for the past month. She's also in the process of going through a divorce...so I'm a bit leary of everything. It would be wise not to get serious with anyone until after my D is finalized...but the chemistry between us is crazy. I need to try to take it slow and just have fun. It might just be a transitional relationship...but it sure has helped me move on with my life.
My one yr aniversary since STBX walked is coming up in the next couple of days.
I'm amazed at how far I've come in the last 12mths. I am a very different person then the one who I left behind. Life is good.:)
H - 39 W - 38 M - 10 years, Dated 1 LYBNILWY - 5/17/2008 Moved out - 5/18/08 no kids - 2 cats
