My situation #9

[steady]

Had a really rough 2 days. I feel really depressed. I'm working at trying to get out of it but I feel like I'm stuck in a mental loop and I can't get my mind to shut up.

I keep thinking that maybe I'm the crazy one and my W has it all together. For some reason I can't help but feel like I'm going to be miserable and she's going to be happy as a lark.

I know I need to get this cr@p out of my mind and keep myself in today but I'm having a really hard time doing that.

My W went to an al-anon meeting on Tues night and I put the kids to bed. When she got home she said it was really good. She said, "It was very enlightening." In one of our last MC sessions she had said, "I need to figure out why I pick the men I pick." That made me feel really good <sarcasm>.

I don't know why her opinion matters to me but it does and I need to get rid of that. Again, having a hard time doing what I know I need to do. She still looks at me like that old guy I was and has distorted the truth so much that now she thinks I'm an abuser.

Sometimes life really sucks.