Hi Ali, I am glad you had a nice birthday. And I think the present and card were cool too.
Yes, C session is canceled. She asked if I want to do it anyway, but I dont see a good reason to be sujected to any "sessions" with stbxH anymore (back to that, lol!). I want things done quickly and as less hurtful as possible. Not an easy task but will try to keep my anger under control (most of it is gone already) and my verbal interactions polite and civil. I DONT want to do anything more. I want to sign the papers and close this chapter of my life. "Have the operation and face the post surgery pain". I want the last threads between us cut off, the ones in my mind still resisting to be gone. I want to feel morally free and sure about my decision.
People have said many times, "you KNOW when you are done". I fight with that a bit. Because, now, facing this failure, I feel less sure about it than I did 6 months ago. I dont know what it is. I think the fact that I am going ahead with this and still hearing his words that he "loves me" in my ears, makes it harder. Of course, his behavior told me otherwise but...
Cheeseless tunnels, once again. Got to be strong and decissive this time. K
