Hey guys! THanks for your thoughts, yes I was wanting some feedback. GFI - dont worry, you werent over stepping anything, J neither. But yes, we do have sensitive English ears hey!
So to clarify 25.. I'm absolutely NOT galing in any way to get him back. He's been gone a long time, I'm actually not galing at all, I'm more back to my old self before that curtain of grief enveloped me after he left. I've always done loads of extra curricular stuff and hobbies and followed dreams. I stopped for a few years as I got ill alot.. that affected our R and he got his head turned by a woman at work (and for his own complex reasons/depression).. and now, GFI is right, none of this is about him. Its been useful though, as I have stuff to chat to him about/amuse him with on email and of course he has noticed and is impressed! DBing stresses GAL for self-esteem, but also, people do get complacent in R's hey and let go of their dreams/own interests in M, with kids too.. but I kind of wasnt int that sitch. If anything, I always GALd too much in the past!
You said "I think he needs to know the risk of losing you and seeing the great catch that you are by you GAL and being upbeat, a woman only a fool would leave...just mho." ..well the second bit, I have achieved already. He told his friend in Janmuary that I had "turned back into the girl he always wanted me to be again" - so, goal achieved there, not intentional, just by virtue of being myself again, as above! But you are right, its the first bit I'm confued about..! he is still pouring energy into an R going nowhere with Helen, at the expense of losing me, I dont get why he is bothering!!! You may not have read all my ramblings, but he has told me its not working with her, he told BMF its not right with her and he intends to break up with her. But..he now has to share an office with her for 6 weeks! So I dont blame him for not dumping her yet.
Also, he doesnt live with Helen, he actually moved out further away to a village up the coast, just as she moved into his village after christmas!!! He told BMF he doesnt see her very much, on Thursday she joined them in th pub, but went home afterwards and not back to his place. BUT, he is still in an R with her, yes.
The text was significant..he hasnt texted me for months, since he has been with her, but he did...on my BD, half way through my evening, out in a restaurant with his BMF and my BFF??? And we all knew he knew that and was invited.. my mum said its like he was with you, in mind, wishing he was there.
So no, I didnt even email him to say thanks! He texted me late on, asking if I got the present.. so I waited till the end of th night and sent a thankyou jokey text, made no reference to his footy convo and didnt even sign my name. And if he emails me this week, I am considering NOT replying, to be less available and create mystery as you said, I already wanted to do this, then my bd and this flat business got in the way.
Unfortunately, Cher is MY BFF here, and we are very close and it would be hard and very sad for me if I saw other firends.. and down in Cornwall, I dont have many other friends to see! No good friends.
Lastly, no I DONT want him to think I am waiting and available!! That was BMF fault, he told him in January.. I said to him, what did you tell him that for !!? BMF said, becuase he asked me and really wanted to know, so I told him! So, they are helping alot and good things get back to my ex, but its also perhaps not helping!
I think he is depressed, low, tired, avoidant, weak.. and he cant 'face' dumping her whilst they work together. G told me that they are not allowed to date, conflict of interest, so noone at work is allowed to know! G said he is not alright, not happy at all, but yes, will he have the courage to come back to me and will I still be waiting?
