You've done SOME. Too "melty woman," and too "I'm okay with all of this."
You need to regroup.
When he asked you how you were doing, you should have said "Great!" -- and left it at that. And when he said "I know, there's some things I need to take care of and get straight, and then we can talk," you should have said "Yep -- this is your mess, and you get to clean it up," and THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE ENDED IT, preferably by having something you need to go do.
Look, I said this was a critical stage, and it is. Your husband is going to be DESPERATELY trying to "normalize" his affair relationship right now, and make his loved ones "okay" with it all.
Don't enable that bullchit. And for God's sakes, DON'T ask him how he's doing!
Quote:
I know he's a cheater and I can't believe what he says, only what he does. If he eventually ends the affair, I don't know how I will know what he does since we don't live together and I don't have a GPS device on him.........(Ha Ha)
He will come to you, in genuine remorse, and you will KNOW it when it does. And the burden of proof will be on him, and you'll be in a position to let him know what your boundaries and your "dealbreakers" are, and to get things set up on a transparency plan. Until that happens, you don't NEED to know what he's doing; just assume he's still in the middle of his affair, and act accordingly.
