Partner left after 9 yrs - Wants to finish with ow

[25yearsmlc]

Ali

all round good stuff to be sure. Very good birthday all in all. But what's with thanking him so much and making sure you are "still available"? I may well have misunderstood your posts, but are you saying that you want him to know you are waiting? Is that some sort of 180"? Does not seem like one.

Sure he has mixed feelings...he misses you, but he is with her, regardless of what he says about maybe wanting to end it...what kind of guy tells others he wants out but stays....yet was able to leave you? Sorry, but it seems to me he has done just the right amount (the minimum) to keep you touched and available and NOT moving on to your own life or OM, and yet he has NOT ended the R with her....or called, or come back. He's getting to have his cake and eat it too. I'm not talking about being punitive. I'm just assessing the message. The message is he lives with her, not you. He sent you a gift, circuitously. Okay.

That's THE message I'd get. Yes, Yes, it is better to know he cares than not. Of course. But still, are these scraps something you want to make a big deal about? How about you give a polite "thank you for the thoughtful gift"...and leave it at that...and have some more mystery too.

Does he have to know exactly who'll be with you for the evening? Have some plans with "x" unknown so G can tell him THAT....G won't know where you were b/c you "made some new friend(s)" or whatever and G "could not reach" you but next time you are available, G will .....etc etc. make sense?

Anyhow, I DO think these are good signs...but also think you can manage them better by not over doing the analysis and increasing the mystery. Why would he come back to you now, if he hasn't exhausted every other possibility with Helen? I mean, if he knows you are waiting then why should he rush? In fact, who is to say that after her, he'll come back to you without first exploring some other R?

I think he needs to know the risk of losing you and seeing the great catch that you are by you GAL and being upbeat, a woman only a fool would leave...just mho.

Still, don't fret. It WAS a good birthday. So many WAS's around here literally forget their lbser's b-day after decades together. THAT SUCKS...

Hugs, Happy belated B-day too! hope you don't get upset at this, it's a small 2 x 4 b/c I think you can help this go your way if you GAL, PMA and move along as if he is not coming back...so stop looking back and making your life about what he might feel or do or think. That is NOT GAL...it's tactical to get him back....you need to actually GAL for you.

Make sense?

(( j ))