Still here......

[Belle]

Ok, so Puppy don't scold me.

H called today - he wanted to wish me well on my SBB certification exam. I guess he remembered.

I asked him how he was doing and he said "OK, how are you doing?"

I said "OK"

He told me that he went to my church on Sunday (which he has never been to) - but he went to the later service. (This weekend, in my mind, I was dreaming that he would just show up to the service that I was at)

We chatted a bit about that, the ladies there actually knew him when he told them his name, and said "Oh there's a (our last name) that comes to the early service"

To which he replied (or so he says) "That's my wife"

Here's the part you may yell at me for Puppy, but I told him that I know I may have been a little harsh the other night.

He cut in and said "No, it was good you stood up for yourself - I've told you that many times, you need to stand up for yourself"

And then I told him that I'm still not giving up on our marriage despite the affair.

To which he replied "I know, there's some things I need to take care of and get straight, and then we can talk"

I agreed.

I know he's a cheater and I can't believe what he says, only what he does. If he eventually ends the affair, I don't know how I will know what he does since we don't live together and I don't have a GPS device on him.........(Ha Ha)

Oh, well, again, I'm trying to plan things that may not even happen.

He also mentioned that he hasn't been happy and maybe it's him that's the problem. To which I didn't resist the urge to reply that "You can't look to others to make you happy". He said that he agrees but also thinks that a certain percentage of happiness is from yourself but if you're married to someone, they also contribute to your happiness.

All in all, I feel a little better in that I got it through to him that we can talk when and if he ends the affair. I was still regreting missing that word "while" (I don't want to talk to you (while) - you are having an affair)

Puppy, I hope that you're not going to tell me I've done a lot of damage.

I'll be cringing when I open up your reply....