Hi there Lan - not really sure what to offer here - I guess the doc and K have said most of it - to keep cool...and also K and Sandi have also offered a really useful perspective from a woman's POV...
But I do have this - looks like now, more than ever you have to have a "Lan Plan" - not saying what that should be or look like cos only you will know - but from your position now, more than ever before you need to feel strong and positive, and perhaps now is the time, with a good sleep, or few under you belt, to think clearly how you are going to achieve that - although I'm pretty sure you will have that in your thoughts already.
Many moons ago, post bomb for me - i did think that a "controlled separation" would be positive for W and I - although I never managed it...Lan there's a book out there that i got - called just that I think - I'll dig it out if you want the title, although moving to that sort of stage does require an upheaval and money of course - and I know you are loathe to put your D through anything like that and finances are very tight...it did offer some useful stuff to me at the time though - although as I say I never got to try that approach...
You said though that right at present you don't want to consider D...and might not...although you can't see you and W being together...sounds like you're contemplating some pretty drastic changes though...
This must be a very very confusing and upsetting time - everyone here can understand that - perhaps let the dust settle a bit till after the weekend maybe? and then re-group...in the meantime what? Get strong and show strong? Lan - for what its worth - EVERYONE who has followed along will be rooting for YOU and your D
