Right, I have decided not to go down the path of exposing it, not ready to do that yet because I don't really know how I feel about it or if it would make me feel better or worse. I think I'd just feel out of control so I'm leaving it for time being.
I appreciate each of your opinions on it and thank you for sharing them.
I'm calmer, feeling a little confident actually re the weight I've lost :-). I'm reading the chapter on infidelity and I'm going to try and at least understand why this may have happened. This I'm sure will benefit me in the future.
I'm very regretful that I slapped him (hard), that was wrong and I can so see how it would reflect on me. I will try and address it in counselling and apologise.
I think it's far too early for me to say if I feel I will be able to work on the marriage and of course, he may not want to so I'm just going to have to accept that I may not like what I hear and try and learn more and improve myself.
I will replace the money I took from the drawer, take the snib back off the door and put all the legal documents back. Naive or not, I don't want to get into tit for tat games, I wrecks my head [censored] like that. I'm sure I will survive whatever happens.
I didn't really like the side I showed of myself in the last few days and I know that they are all reasonably natural responses.
I'm going to try very hard not to take personally what H will say in counselling.
Most importantly, my friends are NOT taking no for an answer this weekend so I'm busy Fri, sat and sunday with different friends.
And if I want to cry, I will and not give myself a hard time for it.
Thank you all for taking the time to post to me. I really do appreciate it.
