WAW - Very confused and devestated - pt 4

[AnotherNightmare]

CIPA,

Sorry I have been away from the boards a bit due GAL and work.

The last several days had been so filled with ups and downs:

Down - Tues nite she surprises me by moving into the spare bedroom

Up - Thurs nite we're intimate again

Down - Thurs nite - during intimacy, she hits me with the "hates my ffing pnis you ahole" comment

Up - Fri nite she kisses me on the lips a couple of times when she gets home

Down - Sat/Sun says she can't see the relationship ever working,

Up - Mon we have a fun time during dinner before marriage counseling

Down - Mon during marriage counseling reiterates to counselor that she only feels negative for me and can't get let go so the relationship can't work

Neutral - Mon on the way back from marriage counseling tells me she thinks that I'm only changing only because I'm following a script from a book

Up - Tues morning she gives me a kiss on the lips before she leaves work

Do you realize that your mood solely depends on what she does? You are not detached, you are still attached to her like two pieces of wood held together with Locktite.

I am generally upbeat and positive, particularly as I've been using my new mantra of whatever.

No, you are not. You may try to act that way, but women are much smarter than that. As long as you keep pursuing her, she knows all that is going through your head is this whole situation. She knows you are anxious, insecure, blame yourself (or her) for what went wrong. Who wants to live with a guy like that? (Sorry for my bluntness).

I agree with everybody else here. Save the time and money for counseling unless you really want to listen. But I wonder what a counselor could possibly say that nobody has not said before. Start listening to the people here who support you and start listening to your wife. If you listen to her as well as to your supporters (and I know a lot of men including myself have that problem), I am not surprised you are making no progress. Please, for your own sake, listen to your wife, your counselor, your DB coach and everybody else posting on this thread.

AN