I just felt like telling him I love him and I miss him and I miss him at home and I can't believe we have come to this and that I miss our teamwork and prospering together and we have so many plans for the future and the house that we had so many plans for... Nothing I haven't said before. I think its just that we have been so dim that I feel so detached from him and I feel like I am losing him completely and I miss talking to him and holding him and sleeping next to him. I don't like being alone in the house. It's so lonely. God, I know none of this would make a difference to him probably but that dim hope that it will. But I feel so apart from him like never before in 15 years. Actually I'm sure that I want to tell him these things not to make a difference to him but for me to reconnect with him. I jeep trying to remind myself that when I feel detached he does too. But I guess he is so much stronger than I am b/c I don't even know how he is doing it being away for so long. We have a beautiful home and now I heard he is renting a room. HoW crazy is that.... I WANT MY HUBBY HOME!!!!
