I remember your sitch and how your H was going back and force and how beautifully you have handled it.
I have a que for you.
My H broke up with OW (again) after 6 months of living with her and came home. He reconnected with our old friends and told them he was in h!ll for two years (that's how long A lasted), wanted to get away from OW, loved me. He initiated R talk with me, told me he wants back, dumped OW and came back, but didn't move any of his stuff from their apt.
First two days he hardly spoke with me, obviously grieving over the loss of OW. He spent all the time in their apt, saying he needs space to work and also he has to clean the apt. OW's dog is still there and H is taking it for a walk every day. Don't ask me why!
On the third day he started a major R talk. He looked very much an alien, was nasty, cruel, said he was happy with OW and came back out of guilt. Started again the MLC talk - we were not happy for years, our sex life was never great,OW was a wonderful person who gave him the taste of what happiness could be. THat he was drunk when he broke up with her. Then he apologized to me and told me he was surprised how calm I was. I didn't let him provoke me and was listening and validating his feelings. Yesterday he confessed that he spent an hour on the phone with OW. Today he spent three hours on the phone with OW (I was calling non stop). Every day he's coming home very late, eats and takes off to bed. He's calling me to tell he's on his way, then two hours later he's calling to tell me he's still there.
Why call then? Why come home at all? It was his idea, not mine, now he's acting as if he was forced to move home and hates every minute of beong here.
I don't really know what to do. He is here with me every night (NO ML, no touching) and he broke up with OW, true. On the other hand, he is NOT working on M, went back to his MLC ways, doesn't spend any time with me and talks to OW every day, more and more so.
I'm trying to remain positive and give him space but I feel like I'm letting him walk all over me. I remember reading on MLC resources taht during Acceptance they test LBSs, wondering if the changes were permanent, and also that they seem to go back into the tunnel but they actually don't. That's what keeping me from kicking him out.
I would really value your advice on this!
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders ____________________________________________________ M 46 H 45 D 17 M/T 23 Bomb #1 (ILYBNILWY) 12.06 Bomb #2 (OW) 12.07 Bomb #3 (chose OW over M) 9.08