Changing yourself is done because you are trying to save your marriage. It's possible in the process to find out that you have no marriage. It's possible to find out that you won't come back from the detachment. But it's not the goal. It's not the reason.
I read your post to mean for her to walk away. To let go. To do things for herself and herself only.
I don't think that's the right thing to do. I can totally relate to the idea that she talks about: she just cares for him. She's in love with him and it's totally not natural to just detach. It won't happen easily. It needs to happen at some point. I agree with that. I just disagree with the reasons or the goal.
The goal is to save her marriage. If that means holding her breath and detaching (for real) then so be it. It's a risk all approach because you have to mean it and you have to be prepared for the outcome - regardless of what that is. I view GAL process as a run-up to that moment. But I view that moment as a last resort before insanity sets in.
MB - you may be best served by detaching. That's true. But you have to get to that point in your time IMHO. I suspect that it will help when you do detach as it changes the relationship and is a 180, no?
My $0.04 worth.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
