Personally, I think you did the right thing about letting your D stay with your wife. I understand your concerns about her safety, but you can only control the situation to an certain extent. Everything you have said about your D indicates that she has a good head on her shoulders and is trying to follow God's instruction in her life. Hopefully she will be strong enough to maintain her walk while living with her mom part of the time. Maybe her devotion to Christ will remind her mom of her need to do the same.
I know it's hard to war against your own nature and hold back your opinions. I have the same trouble. My mouth gets me in a lot of trouble!
Have a fab day!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Leave D in God's hands. Mine moved in with W and OM after a year with me and it was extremely difficult not to fight it. I left her in the Lord's hands and took the higher road.
Even though my W does not go to church, I continued taking my D15. During one service a little over a year ago, out of the blue the Spirit connected to her heart and she has been on fire ever since. She now won't miss a service or youth meeting, is calling me to make sure I'm picking her up to go, etc. She even volunteered for and is helping to run a Bible study for young kids in a local neighborhood.
I could have never scripted this. Anyone on the outside would have advised me to fight to keep her out of that environment. What would the darkness in that place do to her soul? But God had different plans. She has at times wondered about moving back in with me because she no longer likes the environment she is in, but I have encouraged her to seek the Lord on it as she is now the only real glimmer of light in that darkened household. She has chosen to remain there for now. I still worry about her, but Christ in her life continues to grow her faith and I am confident He will carry her through.
Commit your D in His hands, always be available whenever she needs you, and take her out and be the example of how a man should treat a woman. You will be the date she compares all others to :).
I just finished a phenomenal book, "How We Love" . I highly recommend it to all.
confused, seriously give it to God. Right now, it is not just the only thing I can do but the best thing. I am in a lot of pain right now because I miss my D. I never would have imagined her to be distant from me but I think this is something that she is doing and will come around as long as I keep my faith in God and believe that He has a hold of her heart.
My D is an incredible girl and she is going to make an awesome woman.
Your W is going to have trouble with anything you do if she is going through an MLC. All you can do is the "right thing" not the worldly thing. The world will think you are crazy and that your actions (godly) will make no sense. It wont matter what happens in the end if you kept doing what we, as husbands are supposed to do -- the same thing Jesus did for the church. He received no appreciation and He was killed for His sacrificial love. And He calls us to do the same.
I need to thank you for posting (and Im sorry for not being responsive but I have been pretty ill lately and with work, not much use to anyone) because it is helping me put everything back in perspective. I need to quit looking at what I am going through and consider others. I can be quite self focused.
Please keep in touch and keep posting.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
4kids, believe it or not, your posting to me is very timely. I dont get to the site as much lately (been pretty sick and dealing with constant changes at our company).
I am dealing with such torment about my D not being with me. And I really dont know if she is going to be staying with me every other week or not. She has been at her moms for over a week (since a week from this past thursday) and I really miss her. Of course, I am sick right now so I dont blame her wanting to stay over at her moms longer but she hasnt even checked with me.
Im also discouraged that she is not keeping in touch with her younger brothers or seeing her dog. Her dog is nuts about her and has been moping around her, and for the first time, chewing up her tennis shoes and destroyed her comforter.
I was thinking about church and how you handled it. I think I agree with you and I am going to ask my D to attend. I know how I am if I miss church or bible study for one week so I am concerned with her departure for several weeks.
I do believe that God has a hold of her heart and wont let go. And I know that once He has someone that He will seek after them until they return.
I want to be the man you described that she will expect men to treat her like I do. And she already belongs to Him and I am praying that He does keep her close as I finish typing this.
THANK YOU!!!
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Mishka, thank you. I respect your opinion and know that you know Him. I have to trust that He will protect her and speak to her heart to do the right things.
It sounds like you and I have so many similarities. It drives me crazy not to do or say something that I see is wrong and not "save" people from themselves. I think I have more wrong with me than anyone else.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
Trust in your parenting. Trust in the fact that while she was home with you, you were able to get across to her many things. Many things that she will remember. She may push that knowledge to the back burner now and again, but she will remember.
She needs this time. She needs to bond with her mom. A mom that you nor others may think is "good enough", but it is her mom none the less.
How hard to" Let go". I guess these things still arise, b/c the lesson has to be learned just a bit more.
Thank God for giving you this chance away from your daughter so you can really listen to His word and direction.
Quote:
It drives me crazy not to do or say something that I see is wrong and not "save" people from themselves.
Yeah, leave that stufff up to the big guy.
You know by now that we can't control anything right?
We can learn from it.
Cry it out it's ok. Then try to be proactive about it.
You still have kids at home that need their dad.
Have a good one lovey.
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
Trust in your parenting. Trust in the fact that while she was home with you, you were able to get across to her many things. Many things that she will remember. She may push that knowledge to the back burner now and again, but she will remember.
She needs this time. She needs to bond with her mom. A mom that you nor others may think is "good enough", but it is her mom none the less.
How hard to" Let go". I guess these things still arise, b/c the lesson has to be learned just a bit more.
Thank God for giving you this chance away from your daughter so you can really listen to His word and direction.
Quote:
It drives me crazy not to do or say something that I see is wrong and not "save" people from themselves.
Yeah, leave that stufff up to the big guy.
You know by now that we can't control anything right?
We can learn from it.
Cry it out it's ok. Then try to be proactive about it.
You still have kids at home that need their dad.
Have a good one lovey.
Lissie, how the hell are you and where have you been? LOL Give us an update!
Lis, thank you for this. I really needed to hear that. Not about what kind of dad I've been but the kind of dad I need to be. For my daughter, my sons and to represent who I need to be for my W.
And thanks for reminding me who is in control. I need Him more than anything else.
And there are no problems with tears. I can't seem to be able to spend an hour without them flowing.
Thank you for being my sis. (hugs)
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
