JDOllie's Story #6

[Startingover2]

Did you say that OM was married? I can't remember. If he is, how are they doing things with the kids? Yuck.

[JDOllie]

Yeah, he is. He has three kids, 2, 5, and 6 - I don't know what he tells them.

That's the most odd thing of all - W and OM haven't even been dating, but he would come over and bring the kids so they could play, and eat dinner. That's it. And most of the time, BFF is there as well.

Weird relationship if you ask me.

[pearlharbr]

I don't know how they do it, justify to themselves that it's all ok. Grr. You're right, that is a weird R and your W must be pretty messed up to prefer that to a great father and H. Sorry, I don't mean to bash her but I'm biased.

[JDOllie]

Pearl,
I don't even try to understand...

Anyway, W calls me this morning. She said that D8 needed a biography for a book report, and she lost recess yesterday because she didn't have it, and was going to lose it again today. She said it was the first she knew about it. She asked me if I could pick one up for D8, and take it over, but if not she would do it.

So, I went to library and got her one, and took it over. Now, I'm not "enabling" W, I simply don't want D8 to suffer because W ignores their homework and assignments.

I went in and asked D8's teacher to email me D8's weekly assignments, and she said that was great. S6's teacher has been very very worried about him. He blows away all the kids in his class doing speed drills and stuff, but has been bringing home C grades. Weirdly enough, he has gorgeous handwriting, but it has been getting sloppy. She told me today that it's like he doesn't care anymore.

Last time W and I went in for grades, W told her that we did tons of stuff as a family, etc (around Thanksgiving). So, I told his teacher that I had ceased most communication with W because she had started an affair, so I wanted to see if I could get more involved with his schoolwork. I could see her holding back tears. She thinks S6 is the best kid in the world - I think she would kidnap him!

So, anyway, this week is W's shot. If she brings OM to the picture at all, I will file divorce.

I'm debating giving her a "last chance" before I file - it would be a phone call the night before filing.

[marriedCrazy]

Dude..I wouldn't call her..

Show her you mean business by your actions!

[davidswife]

JD,

Don't call her. What's there for her to say? And no matter what she says, do you think you can believe her?

Be strong.

[Startingover2]

Don't call. Just file.

You have given the boundaries more than once. If she crosses, then she has done it well aware and with her eyes open.

[JDOllie]

I probably wouldn't warn her, but there is always some part of you that thinks just MAYBE there is a hint of reality buried somewhere deep within them... But that's silly!

Well, if the weirdness couldn't get any weirder.

The kids were supposed to go with W and OM to a local jungle gym last week, and couldn't because S6 was sick. So, I picked them up from school just now, and asked them if they were going...

So, WEIRDNESS.

S6 and D8 both sort of looked at me funny, and said, "They aren't coming. Mommy sat us down and had a talk and asked us if we really liked them."

.....

Then S6 piped up, and said, "Yeah, I told Mommy I didn't like the OM very much."

So, either OM asked her to marry him or something, or it's maybe breaking off. Although I guess if they were getting married, they wouldn't stop having them over?

* twilight zone theme music *

[Tawnya]

I'd almost wonder if it would be worth sitting wife down or calling/texting asking her what kind of discussion is that about. Only reason I even say that is because I've been round and rounding it with hub about my son hanging with him with OW around..so for "mommy to ask if we really liked them" is definitely a "something's going on" kind of thing..

THO..please don't go on just what I say..I'm curious what others would suggest to do about it?

Tawnya

[davidswife]

JD,

I wouldn't do anything right away. Starting to speculate about what's going on will drive you crazy. Even if you ask her about what's going on, you don't know that she'll tell you the truth.