Mulesqb - It's been a while

[mulesqb]

Hey FIB! Not patronizing at all - coming from you that means a heckuva lot! Thank you!

And thank you for the kind words about being a dad. Just so you know - I thought about the phrase and don't need to carry a stick. I'm going to leave that up to the big fella and trust my heart and myself and be above all of that. I am logging every day though.

The one thing that does get me way down is the eventual loss of time with the kids that you speak about. I will not handle that well. So I am thinking of it this way - eventually they will get older and leave the house anyway - the way to handle that is real quality time - so that is my focus now - quality time.

I am having so much fun with the boys lately. We are closer than ever and do so much together. We had an absolutely great weekend. I don't know where she was, who she was with and honestly don't feel like I care anymore. I just go about my business and am moving forward with life. I do still love her - I want to make that clear. I'm just not going to sit and get caught up in her drama. She's knows where I am if she wants to talk. I still go by the mantra that the back door is slightly ajar. But honestly, if she ever wanted to reconcile I don't think she would be capable of making the changes needed. That's ok. I'm good. I'm so happy about where I am with my family right now - especially my sister - she has become one of my best friends. I just can't believe that I had let that go over the years - but that's part of the new me and I will NEVER let that happen again. And I have reconnected with so many friends I am honestly having a hard time keeping up. But it is those great people that are making this a much easier transition to the next phase of my life.

Tonight our family counselor had requested my W come in becuase the boys have a lot on their minds to say to her. I can't imagine that will go well. But it's not going to affect me - I'm going to the Big East tournament with my client (trying to stay in biz like every one else!). What happens at counseling with her is not my business - it's her issue with our boys. I'm here if someone wants to talk about it.

That's it for now. We have a court date on March 19th. That's the first one. Obviously I'm nervous but I just want to get this thing going if this is where we are going to end up. This limbo stinks for everyone.

I was going to post about more of her treatment of the kids lately including this morning. But I'm not sure yet. The one thing I have to post happened this morning will let you know where her mind is still at. I did my oldest son's laundry last night. When I went to bed I put it in the dryer. When I got up this morning I was ironing my stuff and my son asked if I had finished it last night and I said yes and to just go grab it out of the dryer. My W slept in the basement as she does many nights now. My son goes down there because you have to go through the basement to get to the laundry room. He turns on the light so he can see where he is going and she yells at him - "turn the g-damn light off". He said I can't see though - she yells back - " I do it all the time - it's not that hard - turn the light off". That was the last thing she said to him this morning.

Strength and Honor.