stella: dancing in limbo

[stella_k]

((((Addie, W2G (feels so good to have you posting again!), SMW)))), thank you, guys, for your great support!

Quick update here:

H initiated R talk, which lasted until 4 AM. Same old crap, MLC talk, now he was happy with OW (and what about 2 years of h!ll?!)and came back out of guilt only (and how about he loves only Stella?!) and he doesn't know why he didn't let me go and he's afraid he'd try to take revenge on me for making him drop OW and make me miserable (top of craziness).

I was tempted to end it then and just kick him out, but I pulled myself together, barely enough to listen and validate his raving. I even told him: go ahead with your revenge, I'm strong enough to face it.
That's when he finally got ashamed of himself and said: I'm sorry, I must be crazy for talking to you that way.

And he sure is - CRAZY!!!

Now he's sitting there in "their" apt every single day, with her dog and her stuff, which she's in no hurry to pick up, brooding over his "happiness" with her and driving himself even more insane. Yesterday, he said, they spent an hour on the phone! She called, of course, but he said, I probably would have called her anyway.

Oh, I just don't know.

I can see that he's struggling like mad, coming back to me every evening and calling me twice a day, and telling me the truth (and it HURTS!) but I'm afraid he will go nuts for real and he will take me with him.

For now I keep still and ready for anything to happen.

I cannot argue with madman and I need my sanity for my D18.

to be continued.