Hey, LG. I finally read all your posts from both threads. You really don't want a pill for depression and to shut your libido down. Cry when you have to (I grew up being told not to cry & had a hard time letting go when I needed to - eventually had an ulcer ). If you don't let it out it'll erupt when you least expect it, and simultaneous meltdowns are way too sad.
I was on Lexapro for about 3 yrs during and after my daughter's illness. Would have been a way worse mess than I was if I hadn't taken it. BUT-the @#$%^&* stuff makes it difficult to orgasm. Just what I needed . Several anti depressants are fine with having a sex life. Others kill libido. So I had some libido, but not much release and it frustrated my H in his attempts to satisfy me. I quit the stuff as soon as I felt OK enough to do it. Meanwhile, H's BP meds were having effects on his libido that weren't noticeable the first couple yrs he was on them. (Beta blockers suck). That's when the LD started sliding into noD. I just didn't realize it right away since we usually weren't ML often anyway. Only libido friendly drugs from now on.
If you do ever go on one of these meds, bug your doctor about which one & what the side effects are.
Your loneliness & being alone mirror some of mine. I'm an only child & loved having kids. My own set of playmates, and their pals coming in & out, & on the phone. House way too quiet now that they're on their own & H works nites. Have a dog. Have friends, some still working, lots out of town. House way too quiet. Lots of interests, hobbies, but not fun to do by myself. Not good at getting motivated.
A ways back, you mentioned dreaming about being naked with another man. I think erotic dreams are common when we don't have sex often. If I hadn't had sex in 3 weeks or so, I used to dream about penises. Hard ones. Never saw the guys attached to them, just saw them floating in and out of the dream. :o. After awhile I started telling my H we needed to ML love more often cuz I had "the penis dream" again. Not sure what he thought about that. Sometimes I got lucky, sometimes not.
You mentioned attractive body parts: I like the concept of "your magic". Sounds exciting, almost exotic. Definitely sexy. Our female dog had bladder infection, wrecked the housebreaking. Told girlfriend who said her dog, female, gets them after baths unless she's makes sure to dry her "hoo hah" real good. Told my H & he laughed about calling dog's vulva a hoo hah. A new funny word to use. Asked the dog how her hoo hah was every time she went outside. A few days later I said I was going to take a hot bath and warm up my hoo hah. He burst out laughing and said it was the most unsexy thing he'd ever heard. Which made me laugh too. If ya can't be sexy, ya might as well be funny Good we still have a sense of humor.
Have a good weekend. Do sometning fun. Jayce
me: 66 H:60 2 adult sons 2 grandsons adult daughter deceased 5/05 me:Part time trainer H: plant suprv.
Jayce: You made my day with your floating penises. OMG that's hilarious!! Thanks for your kind words. It's good to know I'm not alone in my lonely and sad dips. Oh, and I've heard hoo hah before as well as cooty cat, which is another hilarious one.
Foggy head=the flu. I'm sick as a dog today and have been sleeping on and off, barely able to stay upright. I'm sure I'll be out of the woods soon.
Being sick delays work with H. Hate that. He's being sweet, though, and taking care of the babe.
Going to sip on ginger ale and try to get a shower!
Jayce: You made my day with your floating penises. OMG that's hilarious!! Thanks for your kind words. It's good to know I'm not alone in my lonely and sad dips. Oh, and I've heard hoo hah before as well as cooty cat, which is another hilarious one.
Foggy head=the flu. I'm sick as a dog today and have been sleeping on and off, barely able to stay upright. I'm sure I'll be out of the woods soon.
Being sick delays work with H. Hate that. He's being sweet, though, and taking care of the babe.
Going to sip on ginger ale and try to get a shower!
Talked about the baby/cake issue last night. I told him that I felt that he was being overly considerate, and that it felt like he was pushing us into a dark corner. He responded that we had people coming long distance from 4 different directions, and that he was very concerned with everything going smoothly. He said that he felt justified in being concerned. He called me first because he knew I had been to the restaurant before and would have a better guage as to what was acceptable there. After that talk, I adjusted my perception a bit and felt that I may have overreacted on Friday. Good thing I didn't bust out then.
We discussed testosterone therapy yesterday. I asked him if he would be willing to consider it because what I've been reading indicates that he might benefit greatly from it. Not just with libido, but with energy, motivation, and an increased general interest in life. He said that he is willing, but is depressed about what it will require: the "gauntlet of doctors" (back to the family doc for an updated blood screen and referral, then to the specialist, then a follow-up to the specialist and so on until his levels are up to normal), because of the cost, and because it will be on our insurance (as discussed before in a prior post). He looked depressed, as if someone took his TV, chips, and hummus away. I left it at that.
I'm proud of you. I think your H needs you to push him a little bit. And you do sound like you are pushing a little bit but not too much. I can understand how he fears that the docotor visits are just a hassle, etc. I would feel that way, too. HOWEVER...if the therapy works well (as it does for some men, I have heard many stories of men whose lives have immediately changed for the better), THEN he will find that it wasn't a hassle at all. If the therapy works well, you may find yourself with an H who is saying "I feel great! Why the heck didn't we do this years ago?!"
So ignore his look of depression about the hassle, and instead, visualize and imagine a happy, horny, manly husband who is coming to you with gratitude in his eyes for not giving up on him.
Glad you got a laugh. The flu, huh? Could that be why you were so depressed the other day? You were getting sick?
I wonder if your H is just plain TIRED. Seems he's working really hard, feeling stressed maybe, and not getting enough sleep? Chips & TV will do that. Stay up another hour watching & munching, trying to get some pleasure out of the day.
If you do some more research on line, about T production, how to raise it, etc. and what causes low libido besides that, you may find some good answers. The Hardness Factor is a good book to get from the library. It does recommend supplements that may or not be the bomb, but T therapy might be a last resort for a guy his age. Sounds like he's just not in real good physical condition.
Hope you have a better week. Being down is no fun. Jayce
me: 66 H:60 2 adult sons 2 grandsons adult daughter deceased 5/05 me:Part time trainer H: plant suprv.
When I'm tired or sick, I my emotions tend to take over. I'm feeling so much better today, though!
H is plain TIRED. You called it. That TV and munch time is IT for him. It's the only time of the day that he can zone out in peace. And now I'm tugging at him to zone into me instead. Ufa. The guy can't catch a break!
I wish we could change our lives so that we could maintain our lifestyle and also have more time together. That would be so nice. The plan for 5 years has been for him to get a job closer to home. He's been on plenty of interviews, but never lands the job. I think he's too burnt out to interview well. Plus, he's older in a "young" industry, so the opportunities are few. Especially for a more experienced guy who is paid more than a younger version of him. In these tough times, employers would rather deal with the younger guy than pay for the luxury of having my H's experience in-house.
Grumble.
If we move closer to his work in the city, it'd be tough to find housing that is affordable. That's why we moved so far away in the first place.
Last night, H brought up the T topic. He said that he's been reading about side effects, and he's terrified that he's going to grow boobs and that his balls will shrink, and that it might not be reversable by going off T. He's also concerned about transferring the T to me and the baby. I told him there is a patch option. I wasn't sure about the side effects since I haven't gotten to that part of my T book yet.
He is extremely reluctant, but he said he would make the call and talk to the professionals about it.
Thought I'd check and see how you're doing. We communicated some when you first came to the DB forums, several weeks ago. I was concerned about your situation and thought I'd check in.
But I see you've shut down the old threads, so I can't follow what's happened. (And maybe you'd prefer if I erased my memory of those posts as well.)
I hope things are going well for you. But it sounds like maybe nothing much has changed with your husband?
Sounds like you've found some good friends on the forums and you're sharing lots about your lives/thoughts/desires/etc. Good for you.
I wish you well.
me: 50 w (waw): 45 daughter: 9 m: 16 t: 19 bomb: 9/26/08 status: physical separation for 7 weeks, then work-in-progress R
). If you don't let it out it'll erupt when you least expect it, and simultaneous meltdowns are way too sad.
Good we still have a sense of humor.